As a therapist, anxiety tends to be one of the most common issues that people come to my office to talk about. It makes sense, because there is a lot to worry about in the world today. When we look at the cost of living, work, family, friends, health, any number of things, the worry and panic build up. How can you tell if your worries are normal, or if you are getting to a point where your stress is leading to an anxiety or panic disorder? Are there things you can do on your own to ease your anxiety? How can you help a family member or loved one with anxiety?
What is Anxiety?
The first thing to know is that anxiety is a normal feeling. All of us experience it. If you have an important event coming up, or you have a big test or presentation, you are likely going to worry. Anxiety has developed in us to warn us about potentially stressful events. If we think back to times when people lived in places and spaces where they did not have protection from the elements, anxiety makes sense. It is the mind and body giving us warning that danger may be present, and that we may need to act. When our heart rate elevates, or we start to get what some superhero fans might call “spidey-senses” it is just a warning signal that there might be danger lurking.
What Causes Anxiety?
Whenever I have someone come into my office with troubling symptoms affecting their mental health, they want to know a cause. Unfortunately, the answer is often “we don’t really know”. We have some ideas of the basis of anxiety, but we don’t have a way to pinpoint the actual cause. Our bodies and minds have been evolved to warn us about danger, and that is the basis of anxiety. Why one person may be able to manage better in a stressful situation than someone else, who is to say, exactly? A lot has to do with upbringing, life events, genetics, availability of resources, and so much more. For example, if a person does not live in safe conditions, the likelihood of having natural fears and anxiety is high. At the same time, they may also have had opportunities to develop specialized coping skills.
Anxiety vs Panic
What is the difference between anxiety and panic? How are they similar? How do we manage them? One of the most important things to learn is that anxiety can be helpful and beneficial. When we are in a situation where we need to be aware, anxiety can be beneficial for us. The challenge comes in when our anxiety continues, deepens, or becomes uncontrollable. Panic is different in that it is sudden and often unexpected. Sometimes panic can have a specific trigger, however there are many times when panic is not triggered by anything specific. A panic attack can come on suddenly without warning, and there may never be any clear understanding as to why it happened. Panic can also be specific, such as panic about certain situations, conditions, or moments in life. Anxiety can be more long-term, and far more general in nature.
Helpful Tips to Ease Anxiety
One of the best tips I have ever been given to help with anxiety is to understand myself. What I mean by that is we all have different ways that we can get calm, and it is important to know what is going to help you. For instance, I love water, and sitting in a tub, going swimming, or anything that connects me to weather will be very calming for me. That might be very different for someone who finds water anxiety inducing. So, know what is calming for you. Figure out the things that bring you comfort, and then find ways to use those in smaller doses. Stretching, breathing, yoga, exercise, relaxation, nature, reading, there are so many tips that you may find in numerous articles which are indeed helpful. The caveat of these helpful hints is that you will find them more helpful if they connect more to you and what will help you. When I work with someone who desires to improve their health, and they decide they are going to add kale to their diet, I first check to make sure they actually like kale. There is no reason to try to do something that will not be beneficial from the start. It is proven that exercising can be helpful for anxiety. However, if most exercise already brings you stress, it is not likely to help your anxiety. What exercise is something that won’t bring you stress? Running is going to be stressful for me. Getting in the pool will be far more likely to give me relaxation benefits. So, like Socrates counsels, know thyself. Working with a therapist to help gain insight and understanding can really improve your ability to work with your anxiety.
When to Seek Help
If your anxiety and panic starts to get to the point where it is interfering with your ability to manage your daily life, it may be time to seek professional help. We may occasionally feel a little fear or panic, especially before a presentation, big meeting, speech, or other important situation. If we start to see that we are having trouble doing our tasks, meeting our deadlines, or managing in life, we may need more assistance than what is available through self-help online. If you find yourself unable to go shopping, go to work, leave your house, or other things of that nature, seeking assistance is recommended.
How to Help Others
One of the best ways to help someone you care about who is struggling with anxiety and panic is to believe them. Often people will share their worries and they will be dismissed or told that they have nothing to worry about. Another way to help is to help people figure out what things help them relax or feel calm. Many people struggle to understand what things are calming. When we are in an anxious or upsetting state, we may struggle to figure out what might be relaxing or calming. But if we connect or work with friends and family, we can help determine our own plans for self-care and relaxation. We can also watch for signs of being anxious, overwhelmed, or panicked. We can try to help remove things that may be more anxiety provoking. We can provide opportunities for people to feel like they are being heard and understood.
In Conclusion
Anxiety is a natural part of the human experience. Anxiety is not always a bad thing. Learning to listen to ourselves and know what our body is signaling is vital. We also can learn to recognize the difference between natural anxiety, chronic anxiety, and panic. Learning and knowing about yourself and your own coping strategies, your self-care, and your calming mechanisms will be the best way to manage your anxiety. Helping others to do the same and know themselves rather than offer your solution can be one of the best ways to be loving and supportive to others. If you are looking for assistance in your own journey, contact the Counseling Center and see how we can help.